“Gavin what are you doing here,” Alicia questions her soon to be ex-husband who is some how standing outside of her new home. A home that she hadn’t yet given him the address yet here he stands.
“We need to talk,” he demands, trying to push himself into her home with the same force he always pushed back into her life with after his infidelity or at least he used to. Today Alicia isn’t having it for multiple reasons. The first being the fine gentleman on her sofa behind her.
Gavin would cheat, apologize, be attentive right before cheating again all the while giving confirmations that he was done cheating. Alicia was tired and that is the second reason he wasn’t getting in.
“About what,” Alicia retorts not budging on his attempt at entry.
She already knows the conversation and outcome he wants. The same thing he has been blah blah blahing her with for months now. Since the night of that ridiculous engagement party of Stephanie and Ronnie, since she stood in a room with an all too familiar mistress of her then husband’s. A mistress that didn’t even know she was a mistress because Gavin didn’t wear a ring.
As he stands there telling her how sorry he is and to just let him come home Alicia thinks how funny the last apology she would ever need from him sounds just like the first one.
“I just want to come home,” he whines giving Alicia another silent giggle considering this isn’t his home and never would be.
She listens with no emotions as he tells her how sorry he is. Telling how he had a momentary lapse in judgement and would never do it again. Only this time it doesn’t matter. This time she knows he isn’t any more sorry than his first sorry. Unlike before Alicia knows he will do it again and that no one has that many lapses in judgement.
Alicia had to admit to herself it is harder pushing him away when he is physically here though. It is easy ignoring phone calls, not listening to or reading messages before deleting. She had gotten to the point where her lawyer exercised all the communication they needed to have. And each time all he told the lawyer was that he didn’t want a divorce and wouldn’t be signing the papers, leaving their marriage lingering.
She couldn’t say there weren’t times she wished she hadn’t signed the papers either. Being single was going to be hard, challenging and she didn’t even want to think about having to tell her family. Something she has been putting off for months now.
Looking at him ramble lies and false sorry’s Alicia feels a combination of love and hatred now for a man she thought she would love for life.
Since he couldn’t give her that life long love he should just sign the papers and let her try to find it somewhere else, with someone else. She and Gavin didn’t have any kids, they were still in the process of looking for what would have become their family home. Neither of them had enough money to be worrying the other about support. She wanted nothing from him but to never see him again. If she was strong enough she would go back to Tennessee with her family only she isn’t ready to admit defeat. She also has a new psychiatry office with some referrals to help with her start-up.
Alicia is going forward with her life.
“You know about what. This is a little extreme Licia don’t you think,” Gavin questions through a piece of door opening. “Just let me in so we can talk.”
“No,” Alicia states stronger than she meant to, but there is no way he can come in now. She is actually glad that he picked this time because any other time she may have weakened and let him in.
“How many times since we have been married have you cheated on me,” she throws at him, ready for this conversation to be over. Ready for him to be gone so she can return to her house guest.
Alicia could see some of his ego deflate with that question.
But she wasn’t falling for it anymore she understood now that he would say whatever he had to say as long as it got her back. She understood now that he didn’t appreciate her like he should. Didn’t appreciate the beautiful, smart and loving wife that he had. Didn’t appreciate the wonderful mother she would have been to his children.
To make his situation worse, today Gavin is finding her even more beautiful for some reason. Stunning is the word that swam in his head. Unlike her usual work attire of a tight bun at the nape of her neck her hair was down with loose curls throughout. She had added some streaks of honey through her usually flawless blonde hair. There were no glasses perched on her nose and her lip stick color of the day was a deep purple. Not only had her appearance spiced up but Gavin swore her lips were fuller, hips plumper and breast perkier. And even though she was telling him to leave every word she spoke, every no she gave with a twist of her lips or slight appearance of her tongue is making his dick throb.
“And notice I said nothing about before our marriage. Then as soon as we move to a new city you are fucking our real estate agent.”
“To be fair I did ask you to find someone else to help you look for our home,” he boast like he had tried to do her a favor. Like trying to spare her feelings from his cheating was better than him just not cheating.
“The fact that you even think that is the problem is the problem,” Alicia says crossing her arms and shaking her head. “Just sign the papers Gavin,” and with that she closes the door and turns to her waiting house guest, Keon.
“Is that why I am here,” her house guest questions pointing toward Alicia’s now closed-door.
“Yes but could we give it a minute I want to make sure he is gone.”
“Not a problem,” he answers simply leaning back into his seat. He hadn’t meant to eavesdrop but he had heard most of the divorcing couples conversation. Understood that the man who stood at her door had once loved her but didn’t appreciate her. This was something Keon didn’t understand because he would do anything to see his fiancée again. Love her again.
Alicia didn’t want to get whatever this was started until she was sure her soon to be ex wouldn’t knock again.The first time he cheated on her she gave him a pass for having a one time thing with a black woman. Her thoughts were maybe he became temporarily lost in being with someone with his skin color. But then he just kept going and not with just African-American women but all women. Latino women, Indian women, too many women to count.
Through it all Alicia stayed. Stayed because she believed him when he said he was sorry, when he said he wouldn’t do it again. She also didn’t want to admit to her family, friends or herself that her marriage was in the toilet so soon after marrying. Didn’t want to see the looks of told you so’s on so many faces. So she pushed for her marriage. Isn’t that what you are supposed to do?
After they moved from Memphis to St. Louis Alicia thought the cheating would at least pause, give her a second to woo her husband back to her.
But to her surprise as soon as they got to a new city to build a new life Gavin was fucking their real estate agent Jasmine Thomas. Fucking her and trying to convince Alicia not to use her for their house hunting.
Alicia of course did her own thing going with the recommendations that were given to her. Jasmine had some beautiful properties and for some reason Alicia liked her. Being new to the city she was looking for new girlfriends, ambitious women.
That thought diminished when Gavin and Alicia attended an engagement party of an old friend, Stephanie. The minute Alicia and Jasmine spoke right before Alicia could introduce them Gavin’s guilt showed along with Jasmine’s surprise and embarrassment. Leaving Alicia looking ashamed. She doesn’t in anyway blame Jasmine they still worked together for the house that she is in now. At first it was a little weird but after coming to the conclusion that Gavin was the only asshole in the situation everything was good. It also seemed like the likely choice since she still wanted to use Jasmine’s friend Chrissette for her interior design. Chrissette had done such an amazing job on her office.
After the business of the house Alicia and Jasmine did begin to naturally open up to one another. And although it should have felt strange it actually felt good to bash her soon to be ex-husband with a woman who also knew him intimately. He had lied to them both not telling Jasmine that he was married and cheating on Alicia.
She couldn’t help wonder how many other women he had lied to.
“So what exactly is it that you want me to do,” Keon, the muscular Hawaiian man sitting comfortably in her living room questions her, interrupting her thoughts down memory lane.
That’s a good question. The woman she had gotten his number from, another psychiatrist that she had met since being in town, wasn’t exactly clear about what he did. The woman used the words platonic cuddler and the card had a slogan the read Providing intimacy without sex.
Alicia didn’t understand either of the descriptions but she did get that it meant she wouldn’t be alone for the evening. She still only had a limited amount of people in the city she could call and talk to or hang out with. Continuously calling Jasmine could become awkward so she couldn’t use her to fill too much of her time. Gavin was off the call list and then there was the woman whom she had gotten the card from.
Alicia was told that this man could provide her with exactly what she needed. She didn’t understand that seeing as how she barely knew what she needed. Although psychiatry is her profession she can’t see herself laying on someone’s couch and giving them all of her business. But she knew that her feelings for her soon to be ex weren’t as gone as she would like them to be.
So with those reasons she called the number on the card, standing strong that she wasn’t paying for sex.
Turning Alicia gives Keon her full attention and for the first time since he had arrived she pays close attention to how handsome he is. A big man undoubtedly by anyone’s standard in both height and width. His chest and arms strained against his dark blue button down shirt. His skin of an olive tone was smooth and slightly tanned, long dark hair pulled into a man bun and beautiful soft brown eyes.
Gavin had knocked soon after Keon arrived and Alicia’s mind scattered. Scared that Gavin had seen her house guest enter her thoughts went to explanations.
Who is he? Why is he here?
Then she remembered that technically she is now a single woman and no man lives in her home.
“I’m not sure,” Alicia answers honestly.
“You’re not sure,” Keon throws back with a smirk and a raised brow. That isn’t incredibly uncommon. A lot of people, women called him and didn’t know what they wanted. They wanted to cuddle but was afraid to ask. Wanted someone to just make them feel loved even if only for a short while. Some needed more, liked for him to stay the night.
Couples call and know exactly what they want, usually for him to play the third wheel in some fantasy that they have. Something like him breaking in during dinner hours to tie them up before doing things to the woman that would arouse her spouse. He kept a sharp line though in what was too sexual. There had been times were he went too far and the mister became upset. So now with signed affidavits he kept a his line drawn.
Today as he watches the beautiful yet nervous, shy woman across from him he knows those drawn lines may become blurred. Still a man, a single man Keon isn’t blind nor is he numb to beauty or wanting. For her he is here to make her feel better in what ever way she may need.
“Where is your kitchen?”
“Huh,” Alicia answers caught up in her own thoughts. Since closing her door on her soon to be ex her mind couldn’t focus. She had absolutely no idea what she wanted with this man. His smooth olive skin, brown eyes and large arms have thrown her off.
What she did know is that she didn’t have any friends or family here. And although she and Jasmine have hung out Alicia couldnt depend on her to be there for her every night. This city is still new to her and although she was meeting a lot of people she still spent a lot of days talking about other people problems then coming home with no one to talk to about her own.
“Your kitchen,” he questions again.
“Oh, I’m sorry,” she gives standing smoothing her skirt. Then she remembers she hadn’t offered the man anything to drink.
“Sorry, my manners are off today. Would you like something to drink,” she questions glancing over her shoulder catching him checking her out as she led the way to the kitchen.
“Don’t worry about it you have a lot on you mind,” he answers as they turn into the large kitchen. “This is a beautiful layout.”
“Thanks,” she answers heading to the cabinet with her nerves everywhere. Why did she feel like she was on a first date?
“Dont worry about it have a seat,” he states grabbing her hand and her helping her onto a bar stool.
Then as if he has been here in her kitchen before he pulls wine glasses from the cabinet above the counter and pulls a chilled bottle of Red Electra from her small wine fridge. After pouring them both a glass he goes to her refrigerator.
“How long were you married,” he questions as he takes a look around the inside of her refrigerator and freezer.
“Just a few years. We met when I was an undergrad,” Alicia answers reminiscing, completely at ease with the stranger in her kitchen. “We didn’t marry for some time, my education was most important back then.”
“Do you have kids?”
“No,” she answers with a bit of regret. Would she ever have kids or a faithful husband?
“Did you want some,” he questions pulling catfish fillets from her fridge.
“I did. I do. But I am thankful that we didn’t,” she answers honestly.
“Yeah that could make things difficult,” he states pulling a stove top grill from the cabinet next to her dishwasher. Next he pulls on the small apron that had been thrown over a hook near the back door.
“What about you? Have any kids? Ever been married,” she questions watching him season the fish in the apron that barely covered his abs, chest and stopped right over his belt.
“I was never married, but I do have one kid,” he answers crossing one of those lines he had drawn. Talking about his personal life to a client was at the top of his Don’t list but there was something about Alicia.
As he pours a small amount of olive oil in the pan he watches her lost in thought. Watches her lips each time they touch her glass.
Pulling his gaze from her he seasons the fish with a mixture of garlic and onion powder, dried thyme, black and cayenne pepper, paprika and salt, all items Alicia had on her spice rack. Then he lays one of the large fish fillets across the grill.
Going back to the fridge he pulls out things for a simple side salad.
“So would you get married again,” he asks her from personal curiosity.
“I would like to,” she answers hopeful. Alicia hates that her life is now this. Would she marry again? Would she know the difference when faced with a better man, is the real question.
“Have you ever thought about marrying,” she asks looking at him closely, trying to understand men.
Her attention on him causes a yearning he hadn’t felt in years. A sensation he didn’t think he would ever feel again.
“I would. The idea was to marry my son’s mother,” Keon confesses again crossing those lines. “Just that things didn’t work out for us that way,” he answers pulling his gaze away.
Flipping the fish and preparing the second fillet kept his mind from remembering his first love. The heartbreak that led him to fixing intimacy for others and never fully fixing his own.
“I’m sorry,” Alicia states feeling the pain she saw in his eyes. Sometimes things just don’t turn out how one would want.
“Me too. When my son was about two she went out for dinner with friends. On her way home she was hit by a drunk driver speed racing down the highway.”
Damn, Alicia thought. “I’m so sorry that happened to yoiur family. That had to be hard circumstances to bring your child up with,” she says simply. Maybe being in love isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Maybe all that shit just ends in pain.
“It was. Is,” Keon states thinking how this was the first time since losing his late love that he felt something more for a woman than a check.
Emptying her glass her chef pours her more wine then tops off his own. Then he goes to the cabinets for plates as well as a break from her gaze.
After dinner and more wine the conversation lightens. Keon is no longer working, he is getting to know Alicia and she is getting to know him.
“So Keon, what is it that a platonic cuddler really does? Because I feel as if I am still missing something,” she giggles, the wine making its way through her veins.
“Let’s be honest, that’s because you think I am a gigolo. But I am just a companion when someone needs one.”
“A companion,” Alicia questions with a raised brow. “What exactly does that mean? Is this you being a companion? Cooking for me, keeping me company, flirting with me?”
Keon smiled at her forwardness but also at his lack of concealment.
“A companion could be whatever you need whenever you need it. And no I don’t have sex with my clients, that’s not apart of the package deal. But I do keep them company, ease their loneliness,” he states simply.
He wouldn’t tell her that the flirting is free of charge, that it happened naturally as soon as he saw her. Didn’t want to tell her that she had him more relaxed than he had felt in years.
Not wanting to talk about what exact service he was providing her he told her about the different things he had done for other people. He explained some people wanting to just cuddle with him, talk about their problems or cry about their sorrows.
Alicia had heard of the form of therapy but had never met anyone who had actually performed the act.
“Do you think you leave them feeling better,” she questions.
“What you really want to know is does it work, and yes it does. I understand it is hard for most conventional doctors like yourself to believe that it actually helps people. But for some laying on a couch with no intimate contact experience a harder time-sharing.”
“I can see that,” not sharing that that is exactly why he’s here.
Keon continued to tell Alicia about the different things he did for people. Strange things in Alicia’s mind. Told her the things clients had to sign for him to perform a faux criminal act, documents that stated if caught and arrested they would bail him out while clarifying the payment of that particular service. Told her about the time he did a fake carjacking for a lady who was turned on by the roughness.
Left out the part about how the woman wanting him to touch her and how through out it all he felt nothing. Although the woman got a great one-off with her clothes on Keon didn’t even experience the beginning of an erection.
Alicia thought most of these things were crazy, thought the people paying him to do these things were crazy. Then she wondered what exactly would she be paying him for at the end of the night.
“Wait, what,” because she must have heard him wrong in her daydream.
“Yes some people want to be choked just right until before they pass out.”
“Really? Have you ever hurt anyone doing that?”
“No but I have heard of many complications from voice boxes being crushed to people dying.”
Alicia is intrigued by the choking. It is something she has always wanted to try sexually but was scared to ask for it when she was with Gavin or any other man. She didn’t know if it was the wine or just her imagination next to a fine man but she could have sworn she felt his large hands around her neck. The warmth of his imaginary touch hardened her nipples.
“Let’s talk about you,” he states smoothly bringing her feet to his lap.
“What about me,” she asks enjoying the touch of a man. She couldn’t even think of the last time she and Gavin had been intimate without sex.
“Where are all your supportive friends and family while you are going through a divorce?”
“In Memphis. We just moved here and the only other person I have had dinner with besides you and my soon to be ex is the woman he was cheating on me with.”
“She sold me this house,” she admits answering his non asked question. “If I spend too much time calling and spending time with her it could look like a single white female syndrome. And everyone else I know is a doctor and I don’t feel like being psycho analyzed.”
“So what do you do for fun,” he wondered out loud.
“Weren’t you listening,” she asks. “Nothing,” she answers closing her eyes as he continued to rub her feet. “Sorry.”
“That’s ok. It can’t be easy. Why didn’t you just go back to Memphis?”
“The looks and comments of friends and family you think should be here for me during this difficult time. Honestly I am thankful to be away from them at this time,” she states before wondering if that was part of the sudden strong urge to end it all with Gavin. Not having to try to keep up a facade for other people, she had the chance to start over.
Keon continue to rub her feet and ankles as they talk.
“What are your plans on dating,” he asks.
“I haven’t really thought about it,” Alicia fibs. Opening her eyes she catches Keon watching her, a look that arouses her.
“Are you not ready to date?”
“I’m not sure,” she answers breathlessly, getting hotter as his hand travels up her leg before going back to her feet.
Without warning he brings one of her perfectly manicured toes up to his lips, placing kisses on each one before twirling his tongue between them. With his eyes on her he takes one of her toes into his mouth causing a sigh to escape Alicia’s lips.
For a second the thought to pull away entered her mind. Only she is enjoying the attention, as well as the fire growing in her.
“Will this cost extra,” she questions through a heavy voice. She wasn’t paying for sex no matter how fine and smooth a man is.
“Nothing I do for or to you tonight will cost you anything more than pleasure,” he states sliding his hand all the way up her leg then under her skirt.
Alicia spreads her thighs as he places kissed down her leg in a trail to her happy place.
“Where’s you bedroom,” he questions with lust in his voice and eyes.
Without a word Alicia stands and begins to remove her clothes as Keon watches her intently. With each article she takes a step to her bedroom with him walking closely behind rubbing himself through his slacks.
By the time she makes it to her bedroom door she is wearing nothing but a smile and she notices he has shed some clothing as well. Before her this beast of a man is only dressed in boxer briefs, a wife beater and socks.
As he picks her up and carries her to her bed Alicia couldn’t help but thinking of the few men she had sex with, Gavin being the last and the longest. Insecurity begins to envelop her as she wonders if his cheating was because she wasn’t good enough. Would she be enough for Keon?
Then he stole all of her thoughts about the past as he wrapped his lips around one of her hardened nipples, flicking it with his tongue. Laying her on the bed Keon climbs his large frame above her, parting her thighs fully.
Alicia shuts her eyes enjoying the warmth she felt covering her against the cold air. Keon abandons one nipple to give tongue play to the other.
Below she feels him hardening against her leg Alicia reaches down to put a hand in his briefs. Slowly she starts an up and down rhythm giving him a slight squeeze at the head. Giving him something to moan about just as much as her.
Before long Keon starts to pump into her fist with a sigh, breathing his warm breath on her neck.
As he pumps he puts a finger inside of her honey pot. First one then two. Her moaning was beautiful to him, like a sweet song. He was happy he had found her, happy she had awakened him no matter where this leads.
Alicia’s body works into his finger as he adds pressure with his thumb. They are both close to exploding on a wave of pleasure when Keon pulls away.
Bending he takes his tongue from her nipples and puts it inside her with no hesitation. Feverishly he sucks the juices from her that he created with his fingers. Tongue fucks her with his dick rock solid. Taking a hold of the only available object Alicia grabs hold of his head and grinds with her hands following the movement of his head’s side to side motions as he digs her out with his tongue.
Suddenly Alicia explodes screaming out to the universe. Not letting her breathe Keon is back on her fully sheath and inside her.
Alicia was surprised at his largeness in the most delicious way. They rocked together like good music before she breathlessly asked.
Staring into his questioning eyes not losing their rhythm of their music she confirms, “Yesss.”
Placing one hand firmly on the bed above her head Keon takes the opposite hand around her neck without disrupting their in and out dance.
Alicia closes her eyes loving the warmth of his hand around her neck like she had imagined. Her nipples harden, body rocks faster as Keon begins to apply a pleasurable amount of pressure.
Bending to his elbow Keon brings his body closer to her to slow down her motion, slow down the nut she isn’t ready for him to bust.
Alicia felt herself becoming light-headed but her building orgasm felt amazing. She had never had such an out-of-body experience. Right before she thought she would lose conscious Keon let go.
As Alicia begins to catch her breath, begins to see straight again Keon flips her over and gives her a welcomed pounding. Although her head is coming out of the clouds her body is going to heaven. She hadn’t experienced anything like this in years if ever.
A few pumps later the duo come in unison. Grinding out their pleasure until there is nothing left. As Alicia comes down from her first ever erotic asphyxiation she hopes it won’t be her last.
Then across the room out her not so closed blinds under the still lit sky she sees something. Swiping her hair from her face she can see that someone has been watching them.
Her heart starts to pound harder like Keon was still inside her. She wants to jump up, run and hide. But then while she and Gavin stare eye to eye Keon’s hand caresses her bare ass.
Suddenly a burst of empowerment comes over the cheated woman.
Let him watch. See what he would be missing, see what he had been missing when he chose to cheat on her instead of appreciate her. While he was so busy making other women fantasies come true Alicia had gone unsatisfied and she hadn’t even realized how much until this moment.
Yes she and Gavin had sex but it was nothing like the banging he just watch Keon give his wife.